Jailhouse Rock

I haven't blogged in a while but I think I'd better take the opportunity to do so now because I might be losing computer access.

I think I'm going to jail.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should state that it won't be the first time (although it will be the first time in a while). I might also add that the previous arrests were for minor infractions - acts of youthful exuberance mostly - although I did serve a couple months once as a result of rassling match with a fat cop who was determined to prevent me from attending a summer soiree at Beaver Ullman's place.

But this time is different. This time I think I've landed in really big shit. You see - I have a Canadian flag flying on my front porch. That's right. A Canadian flag. Right here in the middle of - well, in the middle of Canada - but never mind that. The fact is I'm a criminal. A desperado. I am not fit to live among proper human beings.

I know this because just a few short days ago, a couple dozen OPP officers arrested a man trying to erect a Canadian flag in Caledonia. Which is also in the middle of Canada - but never mind that. I'm not sure under which specific section of the criminal code the man was charged but I'm guessing it reads something like this -

"Under the laws of the Dominion, no man shall erect a Canadian flag whereby such erection shall result in the pissing-off of Indians"

Yeah - that's probably how it reads. Don't get me wrong - the Indians should be pissed off. But not about this. They should be pissed off that the federal government refuses to rule on the many land claims they have across this country. It's been decades and decades and nothing has happened. I'd be pissed off too. Undoubtedly some of the claims are legitimate, and undoubtedly some are not. Why won't the feds address this? Puddn'Head Harper - not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed - won't even discuss the matter. Diane Finley - so dim she makes Puddn'Head look like a fucking laser - is not interested either. Will Michael Ignatieff - if he survives those moronic attack ads and becomes PM - do anything? It seems doubtful.

The solution? I don't know - but making the people in Caledonia suffer for the impasse is not working and worse than that - it's not right. If the Indians want action, I have a suggestion. There's a street in Ottawa named Sussex Drive. Blockade that street and I guarantee you'll get some attention. Maybe even somebody will start to listen. Right now Harper is very good at pretending that you don't exist. He won't be able to do that if you're sitting on his front lawn every morning when he wakes up.

Because I have a feeling that preventing Canadians from flying Canadian flags - anywhere in our nation - is not the answer. I'm gonna keep flying mine. If the cops come and get me, so be it. I just hope that Beaver isn't planning another shindig this weekend. Broke my heart to miss the last one.